Surgery and Weight Loss

I have to have a colon resection done. That is when you have a section of your colon sliced out, then the two halves of the colon are reconnected. Sound like fun? 4 week recovery, and they do not let you out of the hospital until you shit.

However, when I went to the doctor, he informed me that, while the surgery is necessary, it can wait until I have dropped some tonnage. How much? 100 pounds. That would put me a 200, which I have not seen in 18 years. I do not mind being called fat - I am used to it, and I frequently refer to myself that way. Fuck it, I AM. Come on, 5'10", 300 lbs. What the fuck you YOU call it?

However, it was not him calling me fat, it is the way he did it that was priceless. He put a negative from a CT scan I had done of my abdomen and said "Let me show you what is on this slide. The bright white areas are your bones. The bright grey areas are muscle, and you have quite a bit for your size. The dim gray area, see it there, the ring that goes around you but does not fit in the frame? That's fat. And I have to cut through that..."

Diet time, I guess. I will keep you all posted.

Christmas Time

I have been playing Christmas music in my office since the day after Halloween. Why? I fucking like it. However, I have gone a little overboard. Yesterday I gift-wrapped my extra table and the door to my office. I have a small tree, plastic and covered in in lights and little bulbs, that I have had since before Halloween. (It had a small pumpkin under it). I also have two large styrofoam pieces of candy hanging from my ceiling.

To many of you, that may seem normal. A mite early perhaps, but normal. Factor in my atheism, and it becomes a puzzler...

See, I like Christmas. Always have, from the time I was a believer, and it has never worn off. The holier and more pious the hymn, the more I know the words by heart. I enjoy Nativity scenes, the more ornate, the better.

The point of all of this is to keep myself sane while making those around me nuts. I am good at it without the extra props, and without Johnny Mathis warbling "Carol of the Bells." But I like this stuff, and it helps. So far my office is holding up pretty good - I am regarded with the same bored toleration most feel towards a hyperactive child. I wonder how tolerant my office will be when it's April...

Proselytizing
Does anyone else think the aid workers who were jailed for proselytizing in Afghanistan are idiots? Or are they just Christians? There must be a fine line I am missing...