Meringue and Mayo

OK, it is obvious that cooking is a strange and mystic art. We look at the recipes we have today, the stuff we slave for hours to recreate, and we rarely stop to think about where they may come from, or how they may have evolved to their present state. There are a few things I have to wonder just what in the fuck the original creator was thinking when certain food items were created.

Let's start with Mayonnaise. First off, it is evil. It is used to cover evil. There is no acceptable use for it any longer, yet humanity scarfs it like there is no tomorrow. For example, my step-family loves the stuff. Love, fuck that, they are in eternal lust with the shit. My step brother mayos not one piece of bread but BOTH, then sits next to the jar with a spoon for EACH BITE. Holy fuck-shit.

The really scary thing is that some fool sat down one day (a French fool, no surprise) and decided to mix eggs and oil, and nothing else. How the fuck can that be a good idea? LOOK at the shit. Like sperm, only less productive. And this is a GOOD THING? Eggs and motor oil is more appetizing.

Then there is meringue. Not merengue, but meringue. Another French invention. However, rather that bemoan this one, I am just gonna wonder how it came into existence. Were they trying to recreate mayo? Can you picture it? Some dumb shit decided one day to mix eggs and sugar. But, since the yellow of the yolk makes the whole mess look slightly unappealing, not to mention like an ill-treated sore, they leave the yolk out. NOW someone decided to beat the living shit out of it until it is stiff. What possessed them to do this? Were they thinking, "Cool! A sweet mayo! Something to cover lemon up with so that the lemon pie does not look like an ill-treated sore!" We may never know.